Your blouse makes you look like a ninja turtle

The present of past things we call memory, the present of present things we call attention, and the present of future things i call expectation.

awwwww bacon!!!!

gets me up at night

for the days i feel too beautiful

My next project

Is a map of love ordered chronologically aided by "proofs"....more to come.

I hadn't realized this until just now but....

This exact time 4 years ago the earth moved 1 inch from where i stood......4 years later this exact time....it looks like it's doing it again!

Side Streets

I tempt fate on a daily basis, but i when come up to answer there's no dial tone.

Shitters

When did i stop being funny?
I think it was between me learning how to crochet and the discovery that harem pants are actually quite comfortable.
I wanna toast your bread, and by that i mean hold your hand while you bring me breakfast to bed.

You said i began this messy state of love affairs....

In the late happenings of me doing an art installation that evolved in a theme of love found and lost and regained and then lost again I found myself in a vulnerable position. Today I kept reviewing files and notes that i'm going to use in the piece and i couldn't help but feel hopeless. I ended up at a coffee shop staring at the one creepy guy that constantly hangs out there. I used to think he was just plain creepy, but then he began talking to a group of strangers and he seemed quite articulate and eloquent. And then i freaked out! What if in 3 years i become him!???? (minus the poor hygiene....that will never happen). I'm gonna end up dressed in black, with no friends, no lover, talking to random strangers about morrisey (who i don't even like) and how the cops keep busting my balls! I'm a loser.

You can suck a juicyfruit, or i can schedule you and appointment to watch a haircut

Going to a space themed party in the next few weeks. Here's all i got:
* Leslie Hall, just because everything is shiny in gold or silver lame. Hard to find gold unitard. Hard to fit into one.
* Laika, the first dog (bitch) in space.
* Things you'd like to send to space (Rennee Zellwegger, acid wash, your boyfriend's horrible eating habits, complex carbohydrates, exercise)
* Paper mache an astrounaut helmet.....you can call anything "(blank) in space" with an astrounaut helmet.
* Valentin from the movie Valentin
* Bearbarella (leaning towards this one)

Suggestions encouraged.....

Just one more time because it's already tired.....

Adventures at the gym....observations:
* I was fist bumped at beginning and end of meeting my trainer. I was also high-fived halfway and in the middle of the floor by him....i was actually okay with it.
* I can only run for 6 minutes which is the duration of "bootylicious" followed by "the single ladies"
* Asian chubby men are really shameless when they take off their clothes.
* The 50 year old running next to me sweats less and runs more than yours truly.
* Sitting at the juicebar inside the gym is actually not working out?
* Only fat people stretch for a long time.
* It's true. Either the sweat or being on the verge of passing out gives you a rather nice glow. However, it's nothing that would result in a missed connection in anyone's mind.
* First time in a long time i've felt weak in the knees. No, it's not a date. I'm just really out of shape.
* Bring it on betch!

Manning up

The truth is

You could never get me right...
The alluded perfection and the grand figures just hurt me and I am fed up.....
Ducks sometimes do fly.

Hey neighbor, can i borrow a grain of sugar

We went to IKEA!

Live models....living life

Squiggly mirrors make you look skinny....unless you're fat

Paul and the commoners.....

Some gays checking out the deals.....

There are some things you can't learn from a book....

From unhappy hipsters

Sadder than first impressions....

* Bachelors to be auctioned off who are too self conscious to take their shirts off.
* Perez Hilton complaining about dating.

sígueme la corriente

When i was 4 or 5 I would beg my dad to take me to the pier every weekend to watch people dive into the pacific ocean.
I always said i wanted to see the divers....in reality....my treat was watching the pelicans catching fish nearby.

When i sniff around facebook

for two hours.....
i realize....
non-attractive people tend to associate/date the non-attractive.
I'm not pointing fingers.
Thankfully most you people are pretty and healthy

When shorts get short

I am....

A white mesh pullover with the word "lady" in pink handwriting.

Bar lovers

Only taken what I've allowed you to have.
And then you leave dancing under daylight
This is the story that ends as soon as sun appears.
This way is better.

Calculating,
not to get to close to you.
Planning,
the correct way to maneuver your hands.
I compare you to the rest of the livestock here.
And i decide to take the next step.

It's midnight,
I will use only until five.
Don't get any ideas about coffee.
Bye darling, it's been fun.

Bar lovers.
A badly applied lipstick in the bathroom.
Smeared mascara.
And the remains of the "rimmel" just made it onto the cup and your hands.

I soak my shirts in one part bleach two parts hope

When i get married i will not have the wedding march playing. Rather, I'm opting for Philip Glass' Knee Play 5 from Einstein on the Beach.
Also when I die I'm having "Drop it like it's hot" play in the background as they lower the casket.
Someone today told me i had good karma.
I said "that's supercute"